Quote of the Day (2011-09-30)

George: "I was free and clear. I was living the dream. I was stripped to the waist eating a block of cheese the size of a car battery."

Jerry: "Before we go any further, I'd just like to point out how disturbing it is that you equate eating a block of cheese with some sort of bachelor paradise."

Source: Seinfeld

Quote of the Day (2011-09-29)

Jim Hacker: "The trouble with Brussels is not internationalism, it is too much bureaucracy."

Sir Humphrey: "But the bureaucracy is a consequence of the internationalism. Why else would there be an English Commissioner with a French Director-General immediately below him, and an Italian Chef-du-Division reporting to the Frenchman and so on down the line."

Jim Hacker: "Oh, I agree."

Sir Humphrey: "It is like the Tower of Babel."

Jim Hacker: "I agree."

Sir Humphrey: "No, it's even worse, it is like the United Nations."

Jim Hacker: "I agree."

Bernard Woolley: "Then perhaps, if I may interject, you are in fact in agreement."

Jim Hacker & Sir Humphrey: "No we're not!"

Source: Yes, Minister

Quote of the Day (2011-09-28)

Bravely bold Sir Robin, rode forth from Camelot. He was not afraid to die, o Brave Sir Robin. He was not at all afraid to be killed in nasty ways. Brave, brave, brave, brave Sir Robin! He was not in the least bit scared to be mashed into a pulp, Or to have his eyes gouged out, and his elbows broken. To have his kneecaps split, and his body burned away, And his limbs all hacked and mangled, brave Sir Robin! His head smashed in and his heart cut out, And his liver removed and his bowels unplugged, And his nostrils ripped and his bottom burned off.

Source: Holy Grail

Quote of the Day (2011-09-27)

Joey Naylor: Dad, why is the American government the best government?

Nick Naylor: Because of our endless appeals system.

Source: Thank You For Smoking

Quote of the Day (2011-09-26)

Bernard Woolley: "Now, may I just have your approval for this Local Government Allowances Amendment Number 2 for this year's regulations."

Jim Hacker: "What is it?"

Bernard Woolley: "It is a Statutory Instrument to be laid before the House. As Minister responsible for local government we need you to authorize that the revised Paragraph 5 of Number 2 Regulations 1971 shall come into operation on March the 18th next, revoking Regulation 7 of the Local Government Allowances Amendment Regulations 1954(b)."

Jim Hacker: "What the hell does all that mean?"

Bernard Woolley: "It is all right, there is an explanatory note, Minister. These Regulations are to make provisions for prescribing the amount of attendance and financial loss allowances payable to the members of local authorities. Explanatory note: Regulation 3 of the Local Government Allowances Amendment Regulation 1971 ("the 1971 regulations") substituted a new regulation for Regulation 3 of the 1954 Regulations. Regulation 3 of the Local Government Allowances Amendment Regulation 1972 ("the 1972 regulations") further made amends Regulation 3 of the 1954 Regulations by increasing the maximum rates of attendance and financial loss allowances. Regulation 7 of the 1972 Regulations revoked both regulation 3 and 5 of the 1971 Regulations, Regulation 5 being a regulation revoking earlier spent regulations with the effect from 1st April next. These regulations preserve Regulations 2 and 5 of the 1971 Regulations by revoking Regulation 7 of the 1972 Regulations.

Jim Hacker: "And that's an explanatory note???"

Source: Yes, Minister

Quote of the Day (2011-09-25)

Mac MacGuff: Thanks for having me and my irresponsible child over your house.

Source: Juno

Quote of the Day (2011-09-24)

All right ... all right ... but apart from better sanitation and medicine and education and irrigation and public health and roads and a freshwater system and baths and public order ... what HAVE the Romans done for US?

Source: Life of Brian

Quote of the Day (2011-09-23)

[Niles' new ad, which should describe him as a Jung specialist]

Niles: Remember the ad I placed. They have made a tiny little typo. See if you can find it.

Frasier: Niles Crane . . . Hung Specialist

Niles: The rest they got perfectly. Servicing individuals, couples, groups. Satisfaction guaranteed. Tell me when it hurts.

Source: Frasier

Quote of the Day (2011-09-22)

[Rugen has invited Humperdinck to watch Westley being tortured]

Prince Humperdinck: Tyrone, you know how much I love watching you work. But I've got my country's 500th anniversary to plan, my wedding to arrange, my wife to murder, and Guilder to frame for it. I'm swamped.

Count Rugen: Get some rest. If you haven't got your health, you haven't got anything.

Source: The Princess Bride

Quote of the Day (2011-09-21)

Sir Arnold: "I presume the Prime Minister is in favour of this scheme because it will reduce unemployment?"

Sir Humphrey: "Well, it looks as if he's reducing unemployment."

Sir Arnold: "Or looks as if he's trying to reduce unemployment."

Sir Humphrey: "While as in reality he's only trying to look as if he's trying to reduce unemployment."

Sir Arnold: "Yes, because he's worried that it does not look as if he's trying to look as if he's trying to reduce unemployment."

Source: Yes, Prime Minister

Quote of the Day (2011-09-20)

Once had love, and it was divine.

Soon turned out, I was losing my mind.

Source: Blondie

Quote of the Day (2011-09-19)

Who is the bigger fool? The fool, or the fool who follows him?

Source: Star Wars: A New Hope

Quote of the Day (2011-09-18)

Ted: I couldn't believe that she knew my name. Some of my best friends didn't know my name.

Source: There's Something About Mary

Quote of the Day (2011-09-17)

Dennis, there's some lovely filth down here.

Source: Holy Grail

Quote of the Day (2011-09-16)

Bernard Woolley (on the phone): "Yes, we will want simultaneous translators. ... No, not when the PM meets the leaders of the English speaking nations. ... Yes, the English speaking nations can be said to include the United States. With a certain generosity of spirit."

Source: Yes, Prime Minister

Quote of the Day (2011-09-15)

C. K. Dexter Haven: I'm sorry, but I thought I better hit you before he did. He's in better shape than I am.

Source: The Philadelphia Story

Quote of the Day (2011-09-14)

[the golf lesson]

Norton: First, you address the ball... hello, ball.

Source: The Honeymooners

Quote of the Day (2011-09-13)

C.D. Bales: I, uh, notice you don't have any tattoos. I think that's a wise choice. I don't think Jackie Onassis would've gone as far if she'd have had an anchor on her arm.

Source: Roxanne

Quote of the Day (2011-09-12)

Elaine: "You've never felt remorse."

Jerry: "I know. I feel bad about that."

Source: Seinfeld

Quote of the Day (2011-09-11)

H.I.: We figured there was too much happiness here for just the two of us, so we figured the next logical step was to have us a critter.

Source: Raising Arizona

Quote of the Day (2011-09-10)

"I'm in the unfortunate position of having to consider other people's feelings."

Source: Seinfeld

Quote of the Day (2011-09-09)

Jerry: "What else did you two do?"

Elaine: "Oh, you know, girly stuff."

Jerry: "So, uh, flower shows, shopping for pretty bows, then back to her place, strip down to bra and panties for a tickle fight."

Elaine: "That's really what you think girls do, isn't it?"

Jerry: "Yes, I do."

Source: Seinfeld

Quote of the Day (2011-09-08)

Tom Hanks: This is Tom Hanks saying, if you're gonna pick a government to trust, why not this one?

Source: The Simpsons Movie

Quote of the Day (2011-09-07)

Tom Hanks: Hello, I'm Tom Hanks. The US Government has lost its credibility so it's borrowing some of mine.

Source: The Simpsons Movie

Quote of the Day (2011-09-06)

Homer: [Bart has offended Lisa, and he's surprised she's visibly angry at him after saying that nothing is wrong between them] Son, when a woman says nothing's wrong, it means everything's wrong. When a woman says everything's wrong, it means everything's wrong. And when a woman says that something *isn't* funny, you'd better not laugh your ass off!

Source: The Simpsons

Quote of the Day (2011-09-05)

Where's your Christmas spirit? An eye for an eye.

Source: Seinfeld

Quote of the Day (2011-09-04)

Ambassador Londo Mollari: Fools to the left of me, feeders to the right... I need to find a real job.

Source: Babylon 5

Weather Coverage

Jimbob: This is Jimbob Vious anchoring WYME's continuous coverage of today's storm of the week. We have a small army of reporters blanketing the area to keep you up to date on all developments. We'll be here all night if need be, until this storm ends. Let's start with Eric."
Eric: Thanks Jimbob. It's snowing here.
Paul: It's snowing here too.
<....>
[2 hours later]
Jimbob: Now to get all our viewers caught up on the developments of the day. It's snowing. Wait a second, Eric I understand you have breaking news?"
Eric: That's right Jimbob. Here in this upscale neighborhood of the city, we are starting to get reports that it is cold also.
Paul: It's cold here too Jimbob.
<....>
[2 hours later]
Jimbob: To summarize again, conditions have deteriorated out there. WYME was the first to report that it's now both snowing and cold. Eric, you have more breaking news?
Eric: Yes Jimbob. We seem to be having a perfect storm. The snow and cold appear to be combining to create ice. And we have unconfirmed...Whooops!...we can now confirm that the ice is slippery.
[and it continues, for hours]

Quote of the Day (2011-09-03)

I had my dream again, where I'm making love and the Olympic judges are watching. I've nailed the compulsories so this is it, the finals. I got a nine eight from the Canadian, a perfect ten from the ! American, and my mother disguised as a East German judge gave me a five six. Must've been the dismount.

Source: When Harry Met Sally

Quote of the Day (2011-09-02)

Lisa: My family never talks about library standards. And every time I try to steer the conversation that way, they make me feel like a nerd.

Comic Book Guy: We are hardly nerds. Would a nerd wear such an irreverent sweatshirt?

[open his jacket to show off his shirt]

Lisa: [reading the shirt] "C:/DOS C:/DOS/RUN RUN/DOS/RUN".

[laughs]

Lisa: Oh, only one person in a million would find that funny.

Professor Frink: Yes, we call that the "Dennis Miller Ratio."

Source: The Simpsons

Quote of the Day (2011-09-01)

PILATE

Now ... anyone else feel like a little giggle when I mention my fwend ...

(He goes right up to one of the GUARDS.)

Biggus ... Dickus. He has a wife you know.

(The GUARDS tense up.)

Called Incontinentia.

(The GUARDS relax.)

Incontinentia Buttocks!

Source: Life of Brian